Well... I've been at my job for almost a year now and thought I would share with you some of my experiences. I've tried to keep a journal of some of the things that my patients have shared with me, particularly the funny remarks and little things that will just make ya giggle throughout the day.
So here goes...
Patient asks in a very serious tone of voice... "Will you punch me? It really makes my arm feel better." Therapist very confused says, "Ummm... I usually try to refrain from punching my patients, but is there something else I can do for you?" Pt says "Yeah! Do the punching thing. You know where you tap kinda hard on my arm!" Therapist says "Oh... yeah, I can do that but don't tell my boss I'm punching you ok."
On Halloween patient states "Good land! What do you have on your eyelashes?"
Again on Halloween a different patient who is avoiding eye contact at all costs states "I'm praying to god to let me see the real you through those eyelashes."
I wore REALLY long black and white sparkly fake eyelashes with my evil queen costume!
Therapist dips an older males hand in paraffin wax and patient says..."And just how do you plan to get that off!"
Every patient's favorite trick.... Pt screams "OUCH! Your hurting me!" Therpist removes hands quickly with concern and asks "Are you alright?" Patient starts laughing histerically.
Patient says "Oh, I really like those shoes. Is that dog shit on the corner?" Then starts laughing while therapist is inspecting dog shit free shoe.
Patient states "I'm going to the doctor today to tell him I don't need my oxygen anymore. I just need air."
When asked if pt has completed any home exercise program activities patient states "No, and I told you I wouldn't."
Patient with right hemiplegia states "I had to learn how to wipe my nose with my left hand because I tried with my right and got you know what all over my glasses."
When asked to pull self into a crawling position patient states "You want me to do what? Seriously! Can't you see my arm doesn't work!" Therapist explained to patient theory describing weight bearing and proprioception to encourage neural reconnection. Pt then says "You might want to grab another person to help because this ought to be really funny."
Very short older lady goes to hang coat on coat rack and says "Really? Now how do you expect me to hang up my own coat without a stepping stool. What do you think this is a tall persons world."
Therpist goes to pool therapy session and is gathering pool therapy equipment on the side of the pool. Patient who is a tall older gentleman slightly resembling Fred Flinstone starts singing "I got a girl named bony maroney, she's as skinny as a stick of macaroni!" as loud as he possibly can and of course with a pool full of people.
Pt states "You should be really proud of what you do."
Patient states "I suppose your doing this to see how my brain is working, so we can skip this because I'm telling you my brain hasn't worked for years!"
Patient states "I bet your the only therapist in this place that could remove lug nuts with your bare hands."
Patient is a football player for Caspers indoor football league and is in the pool with this therapist for a good workout and says "Man, I just can't get my frog-kick on today. My frogkicker is out of comission!" As the fast track (resistance machine) pushes him backward across the pool.
Fellow therapist give this therapist a crown made of kinesiotape that says kinesio-queen! And we have a pageant in the lobby.
Patient is discussing with this therapist her previous bowel issue and therapist is thinking to herself "what did I say to start this conversation?"
Patient says "I'm really glad you know what to do."
Previous "Bony Maroney" patient grabs this therapists noodle while she is sitting on it working with another patient and proceeds to drag her around the pool. Then this patient decides to fill hollow space in the noodle with water and start a water fight by blowing the water out of the noodle at other patients.
Patient says about fellow patient in the pool "did he lose his hearing or is he just obnoxious?" Then as the other patient jumps in the water from the edge of the pool and splashes her she says "Yup, he's just plain abnoxious."
Patient states "someone so little isn't supposed to hurt so much!"
Patient states "check out my scar, it shoots pus when I push right here...!"
Patient states "Don't your hands ever get sore because really I could use a break."
When doing myofascial release patient says "Stop pinching me, and why are your hands so hot?" Informed patient that a pinching, burning or a tearing feeling under the skin is normal with myofascial release and my hands are heating up from the friction created when the fascia releases. Patient states "I didn't come here for voodoo, I came here for therapy but it's feeling better so keep going would you."
While in the pool balancing on a noodle in the deep end fellow therapist says to this therapist "Heather... put your arms above your head quick!" So she does and she sinks... like a rock!
Names this therapist has been called...
All small and mighty in the little package
Mini might
Storm stretcher
Dr. evil
Mighty might
The good doctor
Shark fingers
Helga
Healing hands
